Cafe Diaries
Café Diaries 01
COMMIPHOBIC ANONYMOUS
I have Commitment phobia[1]. I’m a self-confessed Commiphobic[2].
And I just found this out when the guy in the office that I really like finally made a move. Believe me, this is what I’ve been clamoring for months. (Read Confuzzled) And now that he finally did, I AM FREAKING OUT. He had barely begun and all at once, I want him to stop. Either I’m too picky (or panicky for that matter) or my past relationship just made me plain distrustful. All this time I thought I was finally ready to plunge in the dating arena. And to think that months back, I was willing to make the first move and ask him out! I want to clobber myself, big time! What am I so afraid of? Is it him or is it me? Since my last relationship, (a very traumatic and abusive one)I have always distanced myself from others, (esp. men) in order to ‘protect’ myself and to keep some semblance of control. So I guess it’s me. But I don’t want to do that anymore. I know I should at least give him a chance. But still…
to be continued…
1 Commitment phobia – this is the fear and avoidance of having to commit to anything, but especially relationships.
2 I just made that up:p
